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Charles Anderson
Charles Anderson

I Want You Baby

Grief is all the feelings you have when someone close to you dies. You may find it hard to believe that your baby died. You may want to shout or scream or cry. You may want to blame someone. Or you may want to hide under the covers and never come out. At times, your feelings may seem more than you can handle. You may feel sad, depressed, angry or guilty. You may get sick easily with colds and stomach aches and have trouble concentrating. All of these are part of grief.

I Want You Baby


When your baby dies from miscarriage, stillbirth or at or after birth, your hope of being a parent dies, too. Miscarriage is when a baby dies in the womb before 20 weeks of pregnancy; stillbirth is when a baby dies in the womb after 20 weeks of pregnancy. The dreams you had of holding your baby and watching him grow are gone. So much of what you wanted and planned for are lost. This can leave a large, empty space inside you. It may take a long time to heal this space.

Any parent who loses a baby feels grief. But losing one, two or a whole set of multiples can create its own set of feelings. Multiples means being pregnant with more than one baby, like twins, triplets or more. If you lost a multiple, you may feel:

To help reverse the trend, the March of Dimes has launched a campaign, Healthy Babies Are Worth the Wait. And the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) has launched the Strong Start Program. When parents find out how much the last weeks count, Berns says, they almost always decide to wait and let nature take its full course. It's best for you, and it's best for your baby.

Following a consistent schedule and using calmingtechniques should be all you need to ensure a sufficient sleepyhead. Gettingbaby to sleep on time is one step toward getting yourself to sleep on time too.

Will you be getting the services you need? As a woman considering adoption, you are entitled to many free services as well as financial assistance during your pregnancy. If you choose to place your baby directly with a friend rather than working with an agency, you may find it difficult to ask for financial assistance to cover your adoption and pregnancy-related living expenses. You may also be missing out on the other benefits offered by an agency, like emotional counseling and support, adoption planning, scholarship opportunities, and more.

Even if you have already chosen adoptive parents for your baby, an agency like American Adoptions can provide many other valuable services you and the adoptive family will need to complete the adoption process. Remember, this is still your adoption plan, and you are still entitled to receive the following free adoption services:

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Lindsey was already the mother to one baby with special needs when she found herself pregnant again. A single mom in the midst of a divorce, she knew adoption was the way to give both her daughters what they deserved.

You bring out so much in me that I'm just beginning to see. It's like when we are together, the rest of the world disappears, and nothing else matters but us. I hope I feel this way forever. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you with everything I have to give. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve someone as loving as you are. Do you know how long I have waited to have someone like you in my life?

It wasn't luck that brought us together. You are a blessing to me and I wouldn't trade the way I feel about you for anything in this world. You are the reason why I smile. You are the first thing on my mind when I wake up every morning, and you are the last thing I think about every night before I close my eyes, but our time together doesn't end there because you are the only thing I dream about. I really do want to spend the rest of my life with you if you will allow me to. Nothing is too much to give you. I feel that if you're not happy, then the world needs to stop until you are!

Baby, I just want to thank you for loving me like you do, and I am forever in your debt, just for you being good to me. You know, it is strange how I had to go through so many bad situations before you came into my life. I guess it really is true when they say good things come to those who wait because I've waited for someone like you all my life, and you really are the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Why haven't I been able to say all that I want, show you all that I am, and give you all I have now? Why is time making us wait so long? We don't know, because this is a factor beyond our control. I will always love you, Darling, and when we finally find each other, it will be God's greatest reward.

Simply looking into your eyes sends me through a whirlwind of intense emotions. Just one brief smile from you fills my life with radiance and joy. Until the day I met you, I had never before felt so full of hope and passion. I want you to know, I am forever grateful to be with you. You have given me a heart full of love and days full of laughter, and I will give myself to you always.

IUGR has various causes. The most common cause is a problem in the placenta (the tissue that carries food and blood to the baby). Birth defects and genetic disorders can cause IUGR. If the mother has an infection, high blood pressure, is smoking, or drinking too much alcohol or abusing drugs, her baby might have IUGR. Sometimes a prescribed medicine that the mother is taking causes IUGR.

Most of the causes of IUGR are beyond your control. Usually, nothing the mother did causes IUGR in her baby. But if you smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol or abuse drugs, you can cause IUGR in your baby.

During your pregnancy, your doctor will do tests to find out if your baby is growing normally. The main test for checking a baby's growth in the uterus is an ultrasound. The ultrasound exam lets your doctor see your baby in your uterus with an instrument that is moved across your abdomen (belly).

When the ultrasound exam is done, your doctor will measure the size of your baby's head, abdomen and legs. These measurements will tell you and your doctor if your baby is growing normally. Your doctor will also find out the amount of amniotic fluid in your uterus. In some babies with growth restriction, the amount of amniotic fluid is low. If your baby is small, ultrasound exams may be done more often than usual to check your baby's health.

One test is fetal monitoring. It's a way to check your baby's health inside your womb. Straps are put over your uterus as you lie down for about 30 minutes. You will hear your baby's heart beat as it is recorded. Your doctor can look at the heartbeat recording and see if your baby's heartbeat is normal.

Maybe not. The time of delivery depends on how well your baby is doing. Sometimes, babies with IUGR keep on growing in the uterus. If your baby keeps gaining some weight, an early delivery (before the due date) may not be needed. But if your baby is not growing at all or has other problems, your doctor may decide that an early delivery could help. In this case, your doctor may want to induce labor. Your baby's heart rate and movements will be closely watched to help you and your doctor make this decision.

If there are no signs of problems with your baby during labor, a vaginal delivery is OK. Some babies with IUGR are weak. The stress of labor and delivery may be too much for a weak baby. If your baby has problems during labor, a cesarean section (also called a C section) may be safer.

Generally, no. IUGR usually doesn't occur in another pregnancy. But in some women, it does happen again. Women who have another pregnancy affected by IUGR usually have an illness, such as hypertension, that causes IUGR. Good control of illnesses before and during pregnancy lowers the risk of having another baby with IUGR.

Probably, especially if your baby was born early. Babies who are small at birth need to stay in the hospital until they can breathe and feed normally. After your baby is born, the doctor will check your baby's weight to make sure the baby is growing. Generally, babies stay in the hospital until they weigh about 5 pounds.

The best way to help your baby is to pay attention to your baby's movements. Make sure your baby is moving every day. A baby who moves around often is usually healthy. A baby who doesn't move very often or who stops moving may be sick. If you notice your baby isn't moving as much, call your doctor.

Another way you can help your baby is to get a lot of rest. Rest may help you feel better. It may even help your baby grow. Try to get eight hours of sleep (or more) each night. An hour or two of rest in the afternoon is also good for you. Your doctor may even want you to go to the hospital to make sure you rest. The hospital staff will keep a close eye on you and your baby.

Sweet girl, you are so strong and brave. But this world is hard, and it can be filled with dark and scary things. I want you to remember these five things as you grow and start pulling farther from me. If you can remember these things, I know you will be okay. 041b061a72




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